


So Far Away

by crna_macka



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Huddling For Warmth, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:48:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3722692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crna_macka/pseuds/crna_macka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Winter sets in quickly after the war is over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Far Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evandre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evandre/gifts).



> Work order fill for [evandre15](http://evandre15.tumblr.com/post/115141509094/chokingthecherry-wanted-to-send-this-over-to) \- cold temperatures, close proximity, angst.
> 
> Fits with [Torn](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3422510) and [In Repair](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3429053).

Raven pushes herself to be back at work ahead of schedule. She can take the pain; she's had worse. But Jackson and Sinclair won't clear her, and Kane refuses to override them.

"Raven, what you went through..."

"Whatever," Raven growls, crutching away angrily. She doesn't want to hear it again. That hedging implication that her wounds are more than physical. Fuck _that._

She builds a new brace, trying to keep busy to keep all these men with their sympathetic eyes and somber faces from clouding her peripheral vision. She sends Wick away - then tempers the dismissal with an apology. She isn't pushing him away because she slept with him (she's just pushing him away). She doesn't want to be coddled.

Winter sets in quickly after the war is over. The chill couples with the ache in her hips and back, but she powers through it. Mostly. She sits at her workbench with a blanket over her shoulders. The schematics in front of her are for projects she isn't allowed to work on yet. And as long as she isn't "allowed" to work on them, no one is "allowed" in the mechanic's room.

(Except Bellamy, Octavia, and Monty. But they never stay long.)

So when the door opens one day while she's huddled over her scribbled notes for hydraulics and effective energy dispersal, she doesn't look up. She doesn't greet her visitor. Her friends aren't discouraged by how taciturn she has become; everyone else can go to hell.

She stubbornly zones out when her visitor doesn't greet her either. Twenty minutes later she stretches - arches her back and rolls her neck without getting up - and startles at the forgotten figure leaning against the wall.

"Holy shit, Abby." Raven's voice is rough in her own ears, and she scrubs a hand over her face to cover her embarrassed flinch. The older woman seems surprised as well, or at least shaken from some kind of reverie. 

"You were busy," Abby says, nodding toward the desk. 

Raven's hackles come up automatically. "Did Kane send you to check up on me? 'Cause I'm not -"

"No, Bellamy said you would be here." Abby pushes herself off the wall to move closer. Upright and moving stiffly, she hunches a little, thin arms folded over her chest and hands tucked against her sides. 

"Oh," Raven says. She can't be defensive about that, but she can't puzzle out why the doctor is still here.

And Abby stops when she comes around the edge of the desk and sees that Raven has set up her pallet in here, built a nest against the secure wall of the Ark, shielded from the door by her workspace but afforded enough of a view to see anyone coming into the room. 

Raven follows her gaze and squares her shoulders under the blanket. There are a lot of logical reasons for her to sleep where she works, even when she's _technically_ not cleared to be a contributing member of society - a sudden spike of curiosity dispels her defensiveness.

"You're cleared to work, aren't you?"

Abby allows a brief, thin smile. "Jackson said you won't leave him alone about that."

"You could -" Raven starts, but Abby shakes her head.

"Jackson's still in charge of Medical. I'm only around because we're short-staffed."

" _You're_ short-staffed," Raven mutters at the familiar frustration. "Come on, have you seen the engineers?"

Abby tilts her head back like she might laugh, but everything about the way she carries herself says she doesn't have the energy. Instead, she comes around the desk and folds herself down, sitting on Raven's bedroll with her back against the wall. Raven, on her chair, feels impossibly tall.

"Take a break," Abby says. When Raven gapes, she pats the space next to her. "We both need time off. Away." 

Abby's gaze darts away so quickly that Raven knows she has to be thinking of Clarke. She knows that ache so well that she can't help giving an inch, joining Abby on the floor. "Maybe you need time off, but I need to keep busy," Raven counters, trying to keep her tone gentle enough. "I need..." She uses her own pause to shift, drawing the blanket from around her shoulders to offer to her guest.

"I need to keep moving. I need to have a purpose."

Abby takes an edge of the blanket and moves herself closer. It's big enough to cover both of them like this. "Honey, you're the last person in this camp that anyone would accuse of being lazy or useless."

Cold fingers curl against Raven's arm and she frowns. She wants to argue, that's _not_ what she means, but she can't find the words to clarify when she's distracted by the touch. "Hey, Abs... you okay?"

Abby looks at her directly, like she's searching for some secret in Raven's face, but after a long moment, she just shrugs. "I'll be okay. Some days are harder than others. Maybe like today."

The words of comfort don't come, but Raven leans into Abby's side and reaches to cover the woman's hand with her own. She isn't entirely sure at first that this is the right thing to do, but Abby's thumb rubs over her bicep in acknowledgment. 

After that, they are quiet and still for so long that the protest of Raven's back and hips can no longer be ignored.

She squeezes Abby's hand in apology when she has to disturb their cocoon. Straightening away from the wall brings a swell of painful relief and a groan at the tension released. She's twisting to stretch the muscles when she feels the heat and pressure on her lower back. Abby's hand moves in slow, small circles and Raven - just lets her. Lets herself be soothed, maybe for the first time since being carried back to Camp Jaha. 

The realization twists so sharply in her chest that she's left sucking in a harsh breath and blinking against the sting of emotion. By the time the ache has retreated enough that she trusts herself to speak, Abby's fingers are tracing soothingly up and down her spine. 

"Thanks," Raven exhales. She doesn't know _why_ , exactly; the gratitude feels so much bigger than working the knots from sore muscles. It's irrational, swelling under her ribs. When she looks back, Abby is smiling. It's small and worn, but relaxed, like a memory of her former self.

Impulse. Raven's body follows the almost-familiar impulse to lean back and kiss Abby. Impulse, but not the same one that's driven her to fall into bed and fuck away tension. This kiss is brief and chaste and doesn't ask for more. 

Inexplicably, that is what she's analyzing when the moment is over - not how Abby will react, but how her own impulse is the same but different from the ones that drove her to Finn, to Bellamy, to Wick. 

Abby does react, though. Her hand stills on Raven's back, fingers splayed as though set to brace. She blinks but doesn't look away, doesn't _pull_ away when Raven shifts back into her own space. 

And Raven is finally pulled from her own thoughts when one corner of Abby's mouth tugs upward, creating a lopsided but _real_ smile.

"I don't..." Raven starts, then shakes her head. "Would you stay? A little longer? I don't want anything, I just..."

She doesn't know how to articulate what she needs. It isn't _carnal_ , it's just... Abby.

"Sure," Abby says, even without an explanation. And maybe that's what Raven needs. Someone that she trusts, someone that guides her down to where they're both vulnerable and curls around her. Abby doesn't hesitate to hold her close, doesn't stop the threading of their fingers, doesn't see the way emotion twists Raven's face but presses a small kiss to the nape of her neck, as if she just _knows_.

"As long as you want," Raven hears, feels murmured against her shoulder.

 _You too,_ she wants to respond. But she bites her lip, keeping silent, content to keep still.

**Author's Note:**

> The songs referenced in this (loose) series are Natalie Imbruglia's "Torn," Our Lady Peace's "In Repair," and Staind's "So Far Away." Further listening for these feels: Eve 6's "At Least We're Dreaming," Finger Eleven's "One Thing," Guster's "Backyard," Snow Patrol's "Run," and Turin Breaks' "Rain City."


End file.
